BY RACHEL SHULHAFER
There have been countless references to George Strait’s song “All My Ex’s Live in Texas,” when it comes to U of L sports lately, and rightfully so. Teddy Bridgewater is likely to get drafted by the Houston Texans in the 2014 NFL Draft. Former basketball player Chane Behanan is now at a drug and alcohol rehabilitation center for athletes in Houston. Most recently, football head coach Charlie Strong accepted a position to become the head coach at the University of Texas.
I don’t know a single person who isn’t happy for Teddy. He was a stellar quarterback at the university level, and has the potential to have a successful professional career. If he’s an ex-significant other, he is the equivalent of that relationship that you were sad to see end, but knew it was the best for both of you, so you somehow find a way to remain friends. U of L fans will continue to follow Teddy’s career and will support him no matter where he ends up.
Chane Behanan is the ex that was a catch, at least physically. He’s the one that you want to display on top of a mountain and announce to the world that you’re dating him, but deep down, you know you could do better. He has all of the brawn, but lacks the brains. Just when you start to get fed up with him, he does something extraordinary that captures your interest again, like scoring 15 points and grabbing 12 rebounds in a championship game. He’s the one you think you can mold into the perfect significant other, so you keep giving him chances. Then he goes and does something stupid again. And again. And again. Then you finally cut the cord and it’s over. You wonder why you didn’t end it sooner, because you should have seen it coming. While a gaping hole remains in your life for a while, you ultimately realize that you’re better off, and there are plenty of other fish in the sea…. Like Montrezl Harrell and Wayne Blackshear.
Charlie Strong is the one that stings the most. He’s the ex that you were so enamored with that he could absolutely do no wrong in your mind. Then when things are going seemingly well, he blindsides you by dropping the ever-dreaded atomic bomb that he’s been cheating on you, and he’s leaving you for someone else. Maybe tinges of jealousy popped up every once in a while during the relationship, but he always said something to reassure you that he was faithful to you and only you. (“My heart and enthusiasm are with the University of Louisville.”) He’s the one who you never really get over. The one whose Facebook you secretly stalk and rejoice when you discover their new significant other isn’t as attractive as you, but every time a picture of them pops up in your newsfeed, your blood pressure rises to a ridiculous level. (No matter how good Texas is next season, I don’t think I’ll be able to stomach watching a game. It’ll be too sad.) This one hurts so badly because you never saw it coming, and he left you with an abundance of great memories (and trophies), making him really hard to forget.
All our ex’s live in Texas. Apparently it’s a place they would dearly love to be. But all our ex’s live in Texas, so we hang our hats in Kentucky.