My predictions last week weren’t quite as peerless as they’ve been previously this campaign.
Of course, I’m pleased as punch and proud as a papa that JoPa-less Penn State fell to IU, for the first time . . . as in ever . . . just as I said would happen. And Louisville and UCLA won as picked. But Mizzou proved it might be for real, staying undefeated in NashVegas, and Notre Dame’s asshole coach proved he’s got a little better team than Arizona State’s asshole coach.
Three wins. Two miscues. Season record: 23-7.
I’m looking to get back on my game. The weekend starts early in these parts.
Ready. Set. Go.
Virginia @ Maryland. Yeah, that’s right, kids. I don’t just cherry pick the easy one to pontificate about. This one is the most proverbial of proverbial toss ups. Just last week the motley uniformed Terrapins were undefeated and untied and nestled on the fringe of the Top 25. Before kickoff that was. Then they hooked up with He Who Is Famous Jameis, and were throttled as badly as any Top 25 team . . . as in ever, scoring nil in Tallahassee, while the Seminoles tallied 63. Meanwhile, the Wahoos, 2-2 at kickoff, lost under the gaze of Tommy Jeff himself, by a 27-48 count to Ball State. Which was funnier than Cardinal alum David Letterman has been in decades. And which L gave UVa coach Mike London a leg up in the Dead Man Walking standings. This week’s “battle” is in College Park. So somebody please tell me why the Cavaliers are 5 1/2 point favorite? Your silence is deafening, to coin a phrase. Speaking of coins, I flipped one for this pick. Literally. Tails=Terrapins.
Texas A&M @ Ole Miss. The big question is whether Johnny Folderol will score more on the gridiron, or on The Grove? The sorority gals still dress up for the pre-game down in Oxford Town. So do a lot of the frat boys too, but who cares, right? How serious are football weekends at Ole Miss? The Sundays thereof are the only Sundays of the year when you can buy a drink. Johnny Vaught is soooo proud. I doubt young Mr. Manziel has ever heard of Rowan Oak — It’s the home of William Faulkner for others of ye, who might be unaware — but he shall be writing his own story at the stadium Aggies prevail.
Oregon @ Washington. The Quack have to be tested sooner or later, I suppose. At UDub’s refurbished stadium is as good a place as any. It’s said to be the loudest in the land. (Methinks those folks who would say that have never been in Baton Rouge for a Pigskin Saturday night.) Be that as it may, Phil Knight U hasn’t scored less than 55, nor given up more than 16 all season. They are quick. And fast. And strong. And tough. And mean. And more quick and more fast. Plus their unis have changed the sport. The Huskies are coming off a tough L in Palo Alto, the only blemish on their record. It won’t be after this game. Quack.
Syracuse @ North Carolina State. Now here’s a game that absolutely nobody cares about, between two nonentity pigskin programs, both awaiting the next basketball scrimmage. But I’m taking a gander, because, well, the ACC is where my Cards are headed, so I’m trying to prepare for next season. And, because it’s expected to be a relatively even match up, so I want to test my prognosticatory magic. And, because none of you will even notice the score, so I might be able to slip it by you even if I choose the wrong team. The Orange are a mediocre 2-3. The Wolfpack are a mediocre 3-2. Home team — that would be NC State — wins.
Rutgers @ Louisville. This one’s personal. There are going to be several dozen pro scouts in the press box. And more than the ordinary number of scribes, since the University of New Jersey is a major media market — Just ask the Big Ten — and the game is on Thursday. Sooo, if I want to get in the buffet line, I’m going to have to leave earlier than usual. Scouts and scribes like to eat. The Scarlet Knights have played two OT games in the 50s, losing to Fresno State in their opener, and surviving SMU last weekend. They’ve beaten Arkansas. Rutgers is formidable. U of L is due. Really due. It will be fascinating to see if U of L can turn it on, after taking it easy for several weeks? Last year’s contest was a three pointer, the year before that, the margin was a deuce. Cards win, probably by a little more than that.
– Seedy K