Seedy K’s Pithy Pigskin Prognostications: Week I

This is the moment you inveterate chinstrap-attired, bratwurst-munching, tailgate-addicted Bronco Nagurski acolytes have been awaiting with baited breath since Nick Saban last January ratcheted up comparisons to The Guy In The Houndstooth Fedora .

The moment when you know this is the week when you can officially spelunk down to your school color-adorned man cave, tell the wife and kids you’ll see them after the first of the year, check that your new 80″ LED is tuned to The World Wide Leader and your bookie is on speed dial.

And I’m not talking about the moment of college football’s kickoff which is only 48 hours away, more or less.

I am talking about my fearless football forecasts, beginning another run here at Score.

Enough ado, let’s get this party started.

South Carolina @ Vanderbilt. A zesty Mike Slive-approved league smackdown on opening night. The Stephen Garcia QB soap opera has finally finished its run. So, the question for the Gamecocks is whether heir Connor Shaw Jr. will play well enough, consistently enough to keep the Ol’ Ball Coach from tossing a crate of golf visors a game into the turf along the sidelines? Coming off an 11-2 season and 30-13 throttling of the Cornhuskers in the Capital One Bowl, Cocks’ fans are especially pumped. Yet SC is only a TD favorite over the improving Commodores. James Franklin may actually be making Vandy, a school without an athletic department, a contenda in the SEC. It’s the first game of the year and strange things happen, even along West End Avenue in Nashville. But Spurrier finally has his program fine tuned. He shall not let this one slip away. Gamecocks crow.

Boise State @ Michigan State. Nothing says Football Friday like a Big East/ Big Ten matchup. Talk about tradition. What with Boise State heading west, er, east to East Lansing, this is the kind that would have had Pop Warner himself smiling. What intrigues here is that the game matches two go-for-broke gunslingers calling the shots. Mark Dantonio looks like he should be sitting in the Club Section, but when he need to call some cockamamie play to surprise, he never hesitates. Counterpart Chris Petersen never shies away from sandlot strategy. Problem for the Broncos is Kellen Moore is no longer under center. Similar situation in Spartyland, where there’s a new leader on O. The Blue Fielders have opened big the last two years, winning far from their NE, er, NW home with Ws over Virginia Tech and Georgia. Will they threepeat? No. Give it to Green.

Notre Dame vs. Navy (Dublin, Ireland). The season hasn’t even kicked off and Brian Kelly is pissed off. Imagine our surprise. He loathes that his Irish squad has to travel all the way across the pond to the Motherland for an encounter with the Naval Academy. Among other things, Kelly has to worry about submarine-launched missles, taking down his team on the flight over. Then there’s the matter of food. Seems ND is taking all its own. Can’t trust that Irish cuisine. I dunno. Seems like eating those fried, sausage-encased eggs for a pre-game meal would be just right. Navy has bested ND 3 of the last 5 seasons, but were spanked in South Bend last year. Somehow Kelly’s team seems always in turmoil. It’s put up or shut up time for the irascible former Bearcat mentor. I think they’ll take care of biz in front of the Guinness crowd.

Ohio U @ Penn State. Is there a season that goes by in which a squad of pigskinners from the MAC doesn’t “surprise” one of the big boys from the Big 10? Correct answer: I don’t think so. The Bobcats are coming off a 10-4 season the ended happily with their first ever bowl win, a harrowing 24-23 nail-biter over Utah State in the Idaho Potato Bowl. 14 starters return. Meanwhile Penn State set an all-time record for bad publicity this offseaon. It’s the first season since Washington was president when you know who won’t be roaming the sidelines. The Nittany Lions are impossible to gauge. I’m thinking another successful MAC attack shall be successful.

Kentucky @ Louisville. This is the one we really care about, right? The one about which there have been a million words of conjecture written in the last month. Here’s what I’m hoping for. Nice weather. A Cardinal W. And fast-played game. The son and daughter of friends are getting married out in the country Sunday evening, and one of my favorite bands — New Orleans Klezmer All-Stars — are playing. (Assuming they’re not washed away by Isaac.) The Cardinals are a two TD fave in this rivalry battle. It will be the biggest test yet for Charlie Strong. Can his team perform when an overwhelming favorite? The other question is whether Joker Phillips ill fate will be sealed after the first game of the year? I say neither question will be definitively answered. U of L will win in a contest much closer than the Papa J’s fans expect.

– Seedy K

 

9 Comments

  1. Wildcat
    Posted August 28, 2012 at 4:04 pm | Permalink

    First Kudos….the games that Seedy selected are games with great human interest…can Vandy with no athletic director or athletic dept take down the ol” ball coach? Penn State abounds with drama, F-Bomb Kelly makes great copy in his misery as the Irish continue to achieve mediocrity and the Cards-Cats are an obvious choice. But does Seedy think that football is a gentleman’s game played for pure sport? If he does he is misguided. Where the hell are the predictions against the spread? It isn’t who wins or loses,it is whether the spread was covered..or not. He must know this. Would Paul Hornung make picks without regard to the spread? Yeah, sure he would ..on the same day that Pelosi becomes a fan of Addled Addison McConnell. It is time for Seedy to realize that his legions of readers are one in their demand that he begin to pick against the spread if he wished to be viewed as the next Grantland Rice, or even Dick Schaap.

  2. c d kaplan
    Posted August 28, 2012 at 4:50 pm | Permalink

    Spread? Spread? I don’t need no stinkin’ spread.

  3. gnash001
    Posted August 28, 2012 at 4:52 pm | Permalink

    One point of clarification: David Williams was named Vanderbilt AD in July. Here’s his bio:
    http://www.vucommodores.com/ot/announcement.html

  4. cbcard
    Posted August 28, 2012 at 5:00 pm | Permalink

    I wish that had been the KY senate David Williams. Getting him out of state would be great.

  5. c d kaplan
    Posted August 28, 2012 at 5:08 pm | Permalink

    I don’t believe I said Vandy didn’t have an AD. What I said is they don’t have a separate Athletic Department. Perhaps I’m parsing here, but it is a different situation at Vandy. There is no independent athletic organization as there is at all the other BCS schools.

  6. Wildcat
    Posted August 28, 2012 at 5:46 pm | Permalink

    Joey the Vig is the only book I know that doesn’t use spreads but even that pirate has his own scam by making you select a month in advance. So your selections don’t even help us try to get on top of that bottomfeeder.
    Until you find me a book that lets me bet without using the spread, I will again demand on behalf of gamblers everywhere that you employ the spread when making your informed selections.

  7. The Vig
    Posted August 28, 2012 at 6:02 pm | Permalink

    Bottomfeeder? Vito and Sal took offense, Wildcat. They had their eyes squarely on the 34 oz. Louisville Sluggers they utilize for “special” business. I had to calm them with a little pasta fritta. Pat yourself on the back if you finish better than .500 on opening weekend… your picks with no spread are pitiful.

  8. c d kaplan
    Posted August 28, 2012 at 6:36 pm | Permalink

    Every once in awhile The Vig has my back. (Of course, I’ve supported his extravagant lifestyle for decades now, so a little quid pro quo might be expected.)

    Long live The Vig.

  9. c d kaplan
    Posted August 28, 2012 at 6:38 pm | Permalink

    Mr. Wildcat, Be afraid. Be very very afraid. Vito and Sal come atcha like a hellhound on your trail.

One Trackback

  1. By Sunday Morning QB: – Score on September 2, 2012 at 10:03 am

    [...] yesterday in front of a desultory throng in State College. Just like Seedy K predicted would happen here. (Forgive the redundant use of the word “successful” in the same sentence. Where was my [...]

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