Big Choke Saturday

There were more gag jobs than usual yesterday in the world of sports. Being a schadenfreude kind o’ guy, I’m here to rank them for you.

Special mention first goes to  . . . Seedy K. That would be me.

I’m the guy, who in the aftermath of the Kentucky Derby called I’ll Have Another just a run of the mill horse with a name not worthy of success. Uh, wrong, Mr. Know Nothing About Horse Racing Breath.

I’m the guy who went to bed soon after the 2d half commenced, sure there was no way OKC would catch the LA Kobes in their Game 4 matchup last night. Uh, wrong, Mr. I’m A Hoopaholic Who Used To Stay Up For The Late Ones.

So, this morning, having downed a liquid only breakfast, given my problems with swallowing from a constricted throat, I sit before you, chastened but unbowed. I was far from the worst choker of the day.

The Top Five Countdown:

5. Bodemeister. Yeah, okay, the horse ran his race, said trainer, the silver-coiffed Bob Baffert, we simply got beat. But, I don’t know, his horse is sure beginning to look like Alydar to I’ll Have Another’s Affirmed impersonation. Meaning the winner simply wanted it more. Twice in a row in both the Derby and Preakness.

That’s not the only eery similarity to 1978. Jockey Mario Gutierrez was young and unknown just a few weeks ago. Kind of like Steve Cauthen. You remember him, right?

That’s the bad news. If form holds, there’s some good for Bodemeister. Alydar was a much better sire than Affirmed, who kind of shot blanks after retirement. This was before Viagra, understand? So, if that situation develops, Bode will be The Meister in the Boudoir. So he’ll have that goin’ for him. Which is nice.

4. The Los Angeles Kobes. Jack Nicholson’s favorite team was up 9 at home, heading into the 4th quarter. Then were outscored by a dozen to lose by three.

Kevin Durant, who, mark my words, someday might make us forget Kobe and Michael and Oscar and Elgin, drained a trey with :13 on the clock. Then Bryant missed his attempted touché shot and the deal was sealed.

The Lakers are on the brink of defeat in the Western semis, and becoming yesterday’s email.

3. Bastian Schweinsteiger. I know you could care less about soccer. (One of my loyal readers, a former dear and personal friend, referred to a recent exposition on Man City’s triumph in the Premier League as palaver. Palaver? You kiddin’ me.) Anyway, I get the point. So, I’ll be brief.

The second biggest sporting event in the world — World Cup Final is #1 — took place yesterday, the UEFA Champions League Final. Chelsea upset Bayern in a shootout. By chance, the game wasn’t played on a neutral pitch, but at the home of the losers in Munich.

The teams were tied after 90 minutes of play, stoppage and an additional 30 minutes of action. Shootout time. Knotted after four players from each side had shot, blonde-haired, blue-eyed Schweinstieger addressed the ball for his shot. Hesitated. Slipped perhaps. Then harmlessly hit the pole. Didier Drogba hit his. Chelsea celebrated its improbable W, while Schweinsteiger lay on the turf in disgrace.

2. Steve McCrillis. He’s the blind umpire who missed the call at third base in the 8th inning of U of L’s softball L to Michigan yesterday in the NCAA tourney. It would have been the 3d out of the inning. Let me rephrase that. It was the 3d out of the inning. Katelyn Mann clearly tagged Blue’s Ashley Lane. It wasn’t even a bang bang play.

McCrillis, by all accounts, should have been rushed to University Hospital for a severely blocked throat. This guy will be eating through a tube for weeks.

1. Los Angeles Griffins. Bad day for the City of Angels hoopsters. The Clippers led by 22 after the first. The Clippers gave up 24 points in a row to the seriously mature San Antonio Spurs in the 3d. The Clippers lost by ten. Meaning they were outscored by 32 in the last three quarters, by 20 in the second half alone.

– Seedy K

3 Comments

  1. cbcard
    Posted May 21, 2012 at 4:29 pm | Permalink

    McCrillis is it? I thought it must have been Higgins or Burr.

  2. doug
    Posted May 23, 2012 at 5:03 pm | Permalink

    With limited number of umps, ump was not in position to make an accurate call. And that’s on him because he should have easily anticipated play at third from his position as homeplate umpire responsible for third base.

    As for I’ll Have Another, I picked up my LEO Derby Week and read Bill Doolittle’s wise pick of same and bet him rather nicely on Derby Day. I have always respected his horse sense; suggest you do same in future.

  3. c d kaplan
    Posted May 23, 2012 at 5:16 pm | Permalink

    I always defer to Mr. Doolittle when it comes to thoroughbred racing. The reality is that I pay so little attention to horse racing, except to watch the Triple Crown races themselves, that it passed me by that Bill had the winner. Good for him. Good for you.

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