Joey the Vig’s Revenge: Wide Left, Wide Right, Quack!

I doubt if any of you have been paying any attention whatsoever to my bowl picks this year. (With the exception of Badger Billy, who is watching with a magnifying glass, and Joey the Vig himself, whom I will get to in a moment.)

Suffice it to say, they have not been as astute as I would hope. I’ve now missed four in a row, 11 total. Which means that, another loss or two, and I’ll be signing the house over to JtV.

It also means I not only am not in contention to win any significant moolah at the top of the chart, but that my only hope is to hoist the whole affair in my arms like some giant petard. Read: I am still in the running for the Booby Prize, which paltry remuneration goes to the entrant with the worst record.

Four of us are tied for second to last place, all within shouting distance of Bessie, who is now gently cradling the consolation prize.

There is one problem however.

Among the august grouping of five at the bottom of the chart is none other than Joey the Vig himself. Yes, it’s true. Not only does the Vig get the rake off the top, he enters himself, thereby providing opportunity to reach even deeper into our pockets.

So I’m rooting against my fellow ne’er do wells, Jake, Hub and Bessie. As well as against myself. (Meaning I must root for the teams I picked to win to now lose.) And against Joey the Vig.

Do I believe the pool is fixed, that Joey’s W in this regard is a fait accompli? I shall not answer that on the grounds it may tend to incinerate me. (Joey’s guy, Vito, spent some time up river for Arson 1st. I’m advised he hasn’t lost his touch.)

So, my rooting interests the rest of the way are: West Virginia +4 1/2, Kansas State +7 1/2, Pitt -5 1/2, Arkansas State -1 1/2 and Alabama.

Say a prayer for me.

* * * * *

I must say that there were some marvelous games on New Year’s “Day.” Michigan State’s OT W in the Whatever Bowl was exciting. My Oregon Ducks were absolutely quackalicious, winning the Rose Bowl, while wearing those super spacey mylar helmets atop another fashionable Phil Knight coordinated jersey and pants combo. Unfortunately they didn’t cover.

Stanford and Okie State’s game was all we could have hoped for.

And, yes,  I lost them all, thereby muting my excitement at the zesty football more than a little bit.

I’m not sure I feel as bad as Blair Walsh and Jordan Williamson, but I’m pretty disconsolate. They each failed to converate a couple of field goals that would have won games for Georgia and Stanford.

So they’re pretty depressed. But they’re young and probably have some members of the cheer squad to help mollify their feelings. They’ll get over it.

Given the hit to my 401K, I have to rethink my whole retirement scheme, with no cheerleaders in sight.

Go Mountaineers!

– Seedy K

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