The Vig Report: Thundering Herd Carry Kid To Top

Revised 12/21 10:00

There has been no word from Joey the Vig this week.

It’s a good thing. His local henchmen were spotted buying Christmas gifts at the Family Dollar Store. Which surprises me, since you’d think a man of Joey the Vig’s stature, with his necessity for privacy and loyalty, would compensate his “associates” better so they could buy Christmas gifts at a more elegant location.

I shall reason why no further. Nor shall I attempt to unionize Sal and Vito. The less I see those fellows, who are always ready to put their unique attributes on display, the better.

* * * * *

As for Joey the Vig’s Bowl Pool, well, I’m standing strong early on.

While loathe to give any credit to Dr. Professor, another local caught often in Joey the Vig’s nefarious schemes, I must do so now. He advised that he’s always considered it a W when a bunch of contendas lost a game he didn’t pick.

Last night, in the Teams Who Beat Louisville Bowl, Marshall conquered Florida International. In Joey the Vig’s cockamamie set up, the game is in a pod which doesn’t require any of his “willing participants” to pick the winner of every contest. I abstained. It was a good thing. Five suckers near the top of the leaderboard did, pulling them back to the pack. I really hate it when Dr. Professor has a surer bead on things than I do.

So, nine of us sit atop the pack. All now have 2 Ws and one on the right hand side, so we stand together.

I’m happy to report that neither Dr. Professor nor Badger Billy sits similarly atop the leader board. Since the only one who comes out of this thing financially in better shape is The Vig himself, bragging rights are what most of the rest of us have to look forward to.

I can report, since I know that you, my loyal readers, are hanging on every twist and turn of this holiday gaming folly, that the next two games will not matter a whit. All participants have tabbed TCU and Boise State to win, so those games will do nothing to shift the standings.

Except in the case of Jake, who is ofer the three games she’s attempted to prognosticate. She has Arizona State on her card, beating Boise State. May the pox of Todd Graham be on his soul.

(In the surest sign yet that nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing, gets by Joey the Vig. Not five minutes after this blog was posted, Joey the Vig sent a stern message. Through an “emissary” of course. The exact warning from Sal: “Jake happens to be a close and personal female not male friend of Joey’s beloved brother, who is known as “Volcano” for his tendency to erupt at the merest slight.. You understand Joey and his family take family matters very seriously, and requests you change the reference at your earliest convenience. Vito is on his way over to make sure you understand the importance of this matter to Joey.”)

* * * * *

Finally, on a matter only peripherally related to Joey the Vig’s pool, that study they did on academics at Oregon.

Seems that the academic performance of male matriculators falls when the Quack succeeds on the field. More success = more partying = less studying = lower grades.

Or so it is hypothesized in the study, which seems to draw some rather uncertain conclusions from such a small sampling at one university.

Which is not to mention how it sullies my Quack.

* * * * *

Coming Soon: The rest of my bowl picks.

I know it has you breathless in anticipation, but, please, exhale.

– Seedy K

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