Yoo Hoo, NBA and NFL, Knockoff the Lockouts, please!

What a pity that major league baseball and the National Hockey League don’t have labor agreements coming to an end this season. Then we’d have a clean sweep of intransigent owners and overvalued players picketing and firing polemics at each other.

If MLB locks out McCourt in LA, we might be able to get a ruling that it’s a lockout. That would give us a hat trick.

Let’s see if I have this right?

The NBA, while it has some franchises standing on shaky ground, just had its most beloved Finals in recent times. Interest here and abroad is at an all-time high.

The NFL has several printers running 24/7/365 printing profits. It’s almost like Richard Libertini’s velvet art-loving General Garcia in “The In Laws,” stealing money plates from around the world. Only Alan Arkin’s Sheldon Kornpeth, previously a milquetoast Manhattan dentist, and rogue CIA agent Peter Falk’s Vince Ricardo, saved the day.

Perhaps we can have them parachute in on David Stern, Billy Hunter, Roger Goodell and DeMaurice Smith and talk some sense into these guys.

Are these fools trying to commit hari kiri?

Jerry Jones paid a billion bucks for a stadium, and he’s looking for support from John Q. Fan, who needs new wheels and has to look at 2002 Corollas. LeBron wants us to go back to our daily existence, where health insurance is a constant worry, while he dallies by his private pool in his manse in a gated community.

Gentlemen — and I use that term most loosely — sit down and settle your differences and get back to the games.

An unsteady country, still feeling its way around economic turmoil, needs your games to maintain some sanity. It’s about time you all found your own. And ended these absurd lockouts.

– Seedy K

One Comment

  1. cbcard
    Posted June 30, 2011 at 10:50 pm | Permalink

    Owners against players reminds me of Duke-UNC where I want both sides to lose.

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