Kobayashi vs. Major League Eating, Part Deux

When we last left the world’s premier sporting event — that would be Nathan’s Famous Fourth of July Hot Dog Eating Contest — it was to the sight of competitive eating’s greatest glutton ever, Takeru Kobayashi, being hauled away from the Coney Island battlefield in handcuffs.

Kobayashi had been barred from the proceedings by MLE’s powers that be. But he showed up anyway, standing conspicuously in the crowd. Then, after Joey Chestnut repeated his title, TK tried to get up on the rostrum.

At which point, the gendarmes closed in with cuffs. Book ‘em, Dano.

As this annual gastronomical rite of gluttony approaches this coming Monday, it appears that Kobayashi and MLE are doing their best NFL and NBA impersonations. Which is to say: Kobayashi is locked out.

It is being reported that the Babe Ruth of competitive eating — The Innovator and six-time Independence Day champ — won’t even be allowed on the premises.

So he’s going guerrilla. It’s being reported that Kobayashi will compete simultaneously on Monday with the Coney Island participants. But from an as yet undisclosed hotel in Manhattan. And that it will be televised simultaneously by satellite TV. TK’s handlers have not yet announced the coordinates.

What does Kobayashi’s main rival Joey Chestnut have to say about this?

“He’s an awesome eater. He pushes me to work harder.”

Shackled by the type of contract that is the nexus of this dispute between his rival and International Federation of Competitive Eating, Covington said nothing more. He will be favorite come Monday.

Stay tuned. I’ll advise of any further developments.

– Seedy K

3 Comments

  1. Wildcat
    Posted June 30, 2011 at 6:18 pm | Permalink

    What! What! My Main Man is barred? On the Fourth of July? How un-American can you get? This is a crisis of major proportions! Call out the National Guard! This must be addressed and corrected.

  2. brent
    Posted June 30, 2011 at 10:34 pm | Permalink

    Hate to pick, but don’t you mean Joey Chestnut, not Joey Covington, or am I just missing the joke here?

  3. Seedy K
    Posted June 30, 2011 at 10:49 pm | Permalink

    Brent, thanks for the correction. Brain fart. Joey Chestnut, of course. Defending champ, a couple times over.

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