Maybe it was the S.E.C. — Securities & Exchange Commission, not Mike Slive’s Southeastern Conference — telling me they were ready to charge me with violations of 12(b)(5) for trading with insider info.
Perhaps it was The Great Prognosticator In The Sky’s way of saying, “Seedy K, enough is enough. Your record was just a might too glossy for somebody with as little Beano Cook in ‘em as you.”
Whatever, I cruised into last weekend 21-7 on the year, with only four missed predictions in the previous 5 weeks. Which total I matched last weekend, when Ohio State, Syracuse, Western Ky and the Cardinals all let me down. If it weren’t for laptop totin’ Cam Newton and the Auburn Tigers, I’da been skunked, I tell ya. (That would be “Skinked”if you’re a Carl Hiaasen fan)
So, the tally is 22-11, and I suppose .667 on the season, ain’t bad. (That I’m drowning somewhere in the depths of the River Styx in Joey the Vig’s pool is a tale too sordid and grizzly for publication. Even here where my standards are sub. Besides, it’s frankly none of your beeswax.)
But now I’m back, to let you know, as The Contours sing, I can really shake em’ down.
Watch me now (Work, work):
Kent State @ Bowling Green. Here’s what I know about the Golden Flashes. Neil Young wrote “Four Dead in Ohio” about a little campus incident back in the day. Okay, and they’ve beaten only Murray State and Akron’s zestless Zips. What I know about Bowling Gree is this. An old frat brother of mine, Freddie Mindel, grew up nearby and was a big fan of Nate Thurmond who ruled the pivot for the Falcons even further back in the day. So, in his cups one night at the frat house, after a lengthy rant, he handed out the Nate Thurmond Coolness Award . . . to himself. The Falcons have beaten but one: Marshall. Not having a single thing upon which to base the choice, I say the hometowners nab Victory #Deux.
Wisconsin @ Iowa. Is it my imagination, or does the Big 10.11.12 have some dandy teams? And most of ‘em aren’t Wolverines or Buckeyes or Nittany Lions (may the latter R.I.P) We all know what the Badgers have done recently, right? If not, ask that guy over in the corner, wearing the silly red vest. As for the Hawkeyes, the only blemish was at Arizona. But the Ws are a bit suspect. But here’s what I think. I think Wisconsin pulls a Gamecock this week. That’s not a good thing. Iowa wins at home.
Oklahoma @ Missouri. Is Phil Steele the man or not? The college football guru who spends 24/7/365 thinking, eating and sleeping collegiate pigskin went out on a limb before the season. He picked otherwise unheralded Ooooooklahoma to win the BCS. And the Sooners started stealthily enough. Then — BAM!!!!! — the first BCS standings came out and lookie who is sitting at the top. Mizzou is similarly without loss. Coming up next weekend: a trip to Lincoln. But, hey, why look ahead? This is the year when the BCS oligarchy is really going to have trouble cooking the books for the big boys. Boomer Sooners become the the 3d #1 to go down in three weeks.
LSU @ Auburn. If the SEC — the Southeastern Conference, not the Securities & Exchange Commission — got any more cockamamie, it would be the Flying Karamazov Brothers. Vandy could win the Eastern Division. Three losses in a row and they’re calling for Urban Meyer’s head in Gainesville and he’s won two “national titles” in the last four seasons. Less Miles has just about retired the Kragthorpe Award and his Bayou Bengals are undefeated. I dunno. Well, yes I do. The magic in that red stick won’t save LSU this time. Auburn’s W.
UConn @ Louisville. Rule numero uno in this little endeavor we like to call hedging our bets is never — never never ever ever — pick with your heart. (See what it got me last week — 2 losses, one each by U of L and Western.) But I believe. And I’ve drunk the Kool Aid, and haven’t gone totally Jonestown . . . yet. I am however feeling a might light headed and short of breath. The Cards keep getting better. Are they over the hump? Well, the Huskies haven’t won away from Storrs. The game is at newly expanded Papa J’s. Cards win.
– Seedy K