Vols Howl, Kiffin’s Snifflin’, Quack Attacks & More: MMQB (Sunday Style)

And the Kraggy Goes to . . . I had made a personal vow not to diss the seriously inept recent former U of L football coach anymore. So much for my resolve. Given what two SEC coaches did yesterday, simultaneously at the same time together no less, I knew the moment was ripe for institution of the Kraggy Award for Baaaaad Coaching.

As my buddy Dave and I stood in front of the TV watching the end of the LSU/ Tennessee game, we looked at each other and simultaneously at the same time together and in unison, shouted “Kragthorpe.”

I hope Kevin Costner slept easily last night. His loathsome performance as “The Postman” no longer stands as the worst in any endeavor.

Before we call our┬árecipients┬áto the podium, a snippet to give you an idea how the game ended if you haven’t seen the tapes.

(If you want to see a classic clip, including Abbott and Costello, click here. Embedding is prohibited.)

Without further ado, Les Miles and Derek Dooley, come on down. (If you want to see most of what happened as evidence, this award is well deserved, here’s the link.)

As the clock sped toward :00, LSU, trailing at the time with no timeouts, had the ball at the Vols 1 yard line with time to run two plays. Instead . . . well you watched the video . . . the teams did their best Keystone Kops impersonations. Players ran in and out and back in again. LSU lost the game on a bad snap after the utter confusion. Only to win it on an extra unclocked play because there were 13 players in orange on the field at the time of the first go round.

It was award quality ineptitude. Lack of coaching was manifest. A rare performance of Kragthorpian mien.

Les Miles. Derek Dooley. Congrats. You have deservedly won the first Kraggy of the season in tandem. You’ve set a mighty high bar.

* * * * *

The Wannabes Skunk ‘Em. Neither Boise State nor TCU gave up a point yesterday.

Broncos 59, New Mexico State nil.

Horned Frogs 27, Colorado State zilch.

* * * * *

Getting Fitted for Asbestos Pants. My Georgia Bulldog support staff, that would be you JP, advises that Mark Richt’s position is safe no matter how bad the Dawgs are this season. Well, Richt is doing his best to test that theory. Georgia lost 27-29 at Colorado yesterday, and stand a glossy 1-4 on the season. That’s lookin’ pretty U*G*A*L*Y from here.

Were I Minnesota mentor Tim Brewster, I’d be hiring a realtor and heading over to the unemployment office. His Golden Gophers snatched defeat from the jaws of victory yesterday, giving up a losing field goal to Northwestern with a couple minutes to play. Minnesota is 1-4 and will have a new coach next season.

By the by, Eastern Michigan lost again yesterday, now standing 0-5 on the campaign. Ron English is Ofer his head coaching career there.

* * * * *

We’re Winners, and You’re Not. North Carolina State once led Virginia Tech, 17-0. They lost 30-41.

Stanford once led Oregon, 21-3. They lost 31-52. Quack! The Ducks came out sartorially splendid in all green unis. When I, wearing one of my many pieces of Duck apparel, turned on the game after U of L had won, Oregon trailed. But they soon took control. Not that I’m taking any credit or anything.

Some programs win. Some don’t.

IU played great. Michigan, fueled by the phenomenon known as Denard Robinson, stole a program W.

Some programs win. Some don’t.

* * * * *

Now for the Local News. I spent most of the day at the Idea Festival, so I didn’t see but a few plays of the UK game. Sounds like the same ol’, same ol’. Too many errors. A QB who can’t make plays. Sigh.

Louisville still isn’t ready for prime time. (Lucky for them the Big LEast is in-arguably the worst “big time”conference in the history of college football. Or, at least since Beano Cook was born. Which may be the same thing.)

Cornerbacks who were in place, but simply didn’t make the plays on those Red Wolves TD passes. Way too many stupid penalties in the red zone. Some seriously lax D in the second half. The Cards road to legitimacy remains long and winding.

* * * * *

Space Control to Bristol, Space Control to Bristol. Hey, I’m no lover of commercials or anything like that. But I know they’re the fuel that runs the engine that allows the American Sporting Public to watch all the games it wants.

But I gotta wonder. How come there were no ads during play stoppage of the U of L game on espn3.com? Not really complaining, but it simply doesn’t compute.

* * * * *

Always Leave ‘Em Smilin’. Washington 32, Lane Kiffin U. 31. The Huskies won on a FG at the final horn. Sweet.

– Seedy K

One Comment

  1. cbcard
    Posted October 3, 2010 at 11:05 am | Permalink

    Regarding the UofL corners not making plays. Was at the game and can tell you on all three TD bombs the corner was there but lost the jump ball.

    I was listening to the ASU radio broadcast and the talking heads repeated several times the height advantage those two guys had over us (the three bombs went to two 6’4″ guys while our taller corner is only 6′). To put it in B-Ball terms when there is a rebound under the bucket (excluding long bounce missed three’s) guards rarely outrebound centers.

    And I hate to say it but we kept saying it seemed like Kragpoop was back on the sidelines. Two, not one but two, side line infraction penalties. Two burned timeouts because the play didn’t get in correctly. A delay of game penalty on the offense AFTER A TIMEOUT. Several penalties for mental errors such as lining up incorrectly. Etc. Etc.

    Charlie needs someone to perform an exorcism to rid us of the demonic spirit of Kragthorpe. Or to get more organized.

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