Report Card Tuesday: Bledsoe, Kanter, Pearl, NCAA Flunk; Dieng Incomplete

The Birmingham paper is reporting an apparent discrepancy in Eric Bledsoe’s Algebra grades. Imagine our surprise.

Seems he got an A, which made him barely eligible to play last season at UK. But his average scores indicate he should have only received a C. Which would have made him ineligible.

Hmmmm. Guess that villain Pete Thamel of the NY Times spent all his time before visiting Turkey, hacking into the Birmingham school system’s computers to change Bledsoe’s grades.

Grade: Eric Bledsoe — F.

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In a somewhat related matter, I’m advised that Enes Kanter will not be declared eligible to play for UK by the NCAA. And that the decision will come later rather than sooner.

Which means the Cats will be left twisting, twisting slowly in the wind in anticipation.

Wildcat fans are wishing the Turkish government would go “Midnight Express” on that very same Pete Thamel.

Grade: Enes Kanter — F.

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Meanwhile, there are reports surfacing here in River City that Gorgui Dieng will not be able to play for U of L this upcoming season because of eligibility snafus.

Grade: Gorgui Deng — Incomplete pending final exam.

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Sooooooooooooooo, I’m thinking of my man Arthur Alexander with some sensible words of wisdom for both the Bluegrass and Cardinal Nations: You Better Move On.

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I’m not sure exactly how Bruce Pearl kept his job at Tennessee. I know why. He wins. Even though his offense is as loosey goosey as there is in college hoops.

In his tear filled press conference, Pearl prevaricated. Cutting to the chase, he lied to the NCAA about making illegal phone calls.

CBS Sportsline’s excellent b-ball writer Gary Parrish had a great column yesterday. He interviewed ten college coaches and promised anonymity. All 10 admitted they’d made illegal phone calls.

We love this beast that is college basketball, but it’s getting bigger and grizzlier and nastier by the recruiting season.

Seems to me those coaches could take a hint from “The Wire,” the best show in the history of TV, which The Film Babe and I just finished watching in its five season entirety for the 2d time. When drug lord Marlow Stanfield didn’t want his cellphones to be tapped, he used burners, which one of his soldiers would buy at various convenience stores along the interstate.

Grade: Bruce Pearl — F.

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Meanwhile, the NCAA showed just how cockamamie all those professionalism rules are when it suspended Georgia Bulldog A.J. Green for four games for selling a game jersey to an agent.

Bulldog fans can take their choice of umpteen different versions of Green’s jersey at the team store and online.

But Green gets smacked.

This whole amateur athlete thing is hypocrisy of the highest order. Something’s gotta give and soon.

Grade: NCAA — F.

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Actually watched a good bit of tennis yesterday, before and after the rain break in the US Open Men’s Final.

Have to admit yet again how talented these incredible athletes are. How they can run across court, jump in the air and hit cross court shots within centimeters of the out of bounds lines is simply amazing.

And, if you watched, did you observe how Nadal’s left arm is at least twice as muscular as the one he doesn’t use.

He’s 24. He’s won the Grand Slam, including 3 major titles this season alone. He lives in Majorica. Tough life.

Grade: Rafael Nadal — A+.

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Joey the Vig released the Pick Em Pool Standings after the first two weeks of the season. I stand a militantly mediocre 6-6, nestled comfortably in the middle of the pack. (I’m doing somewhat better than that in Seedy K’s Scintillating Selections, but more on that later in the week.)

The problem of course, is that Joey’s the Vig’s gig would theoretically hurt me in my pocket book, were that gaming. My picks here are for entertainment purposes only.

Grade: Seedy K — D.

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While, under a different persona, I do film reviews for public radio here in Louisville, I rarely broach the subject in this, a sports blog.

That said, I must assume that anybody who finds my prattle here to be of the slightest amusement would also appreciate the brilliance of “Machete.” It’s my favorite flick of the year.

As you move on, remember Machete’s words of wisdom: “Machete don’t text.”

Grade: “Machete” — A.

– Seedy K

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