Tennessee Tsouris, ‘Dores Closed & Local Docket Talk

Once again, just to remind those of you not of the Hebrew persuasion, tsouris is a Yiddish word that means trouble, distress and the attending hassle and heartache. More or less.

Anyway, they got some down in Tennessee.

Just today at lunch with some fellow sports fans we were opining that the Tennessee Vols seem poised to ascend back to the upper echelon of college pigskin.

Assuming, of course, that my Pakistani Graduate Student Theory is valid. (Quickly stated again. Any college that aspires to a BCS title must have a squad with at least some key players willing to whip the tar out of any geeky student walking across campus with a laptop . . . just because they don’t like how he looks.)

The Vols have had enough off season turmoil to assure them BCS status for seasons to come. The latest, of course, when several pigskinners stomped the crap out of some patrons and a cop at a drinking establishment.

After the lunch discussion I came home to read Eric Crawford’s blog with a link to a story about the whole situation, focusing on the fact that the victims of this and other recent Big Orange imbroglios haven’t let their whuppings and injuries get in the way of their love of Rocky Top.

Does SEC football exist in a parallel matrix or what?

* * * * *

Meanwhile down the road in Nashville, the school that aspires to nothing more on the gridiron than collecting those checks from the SEC office — that would be Vanderbilt — lost its football coach.

Just weeks before summer practice, Bobby Johnson upped and quit.

Odd timing, eh?

Well, I’ve now had a couple of sources advise that he’s been planning this for quite awhile. Seems the handful of Commodore fans who care about what happens at Dudley Field were starting to grumble that BJ didn’t raise the level of Vandy pigskin they way they wanted. Johnson, a smart fellow, realized he was never going to satisfy this posse. (As if anybody could win there where the school doesn’t even have an athletic department.)

As the story goes, he waited until now, so the school would have to name his buddy Robbie Caldwell as interim mentor, giving him this upcoming season to prove his mettle enough to be named to the position permanently. Had Johnson quit last winter when he first contemplated the move, Vandy would have surely named somebody from outside.

Which anecdote is probably the last time you’ll ever read about Vanderbilt football here except during the week they play UK.

* * * * *

I also heard some illumination on the Johnny Patrick situation from a source who swears he heard it from folks involved in the situation.

Apparently after Patrick and his (former?) girlfriend had their tussle over what was on Johnny’s phone, resulting in some very minor injuries for the lady, and after Patrick was arrested, he called her. According to the source, he told her how the arrest would probably cause him to get kicked off the team. In so many words.

I’m now advised that the prosecutors are considering whether that call met the requirements for the crime of Intimidating A Witness, and are contemplating adding those charges against Patrick.

I also understand that Patrick’s attorney has not yet discussed the situation with Coach Charlie Strong, in order to determine what needs to happen for the defensive ace to remain on the squad.

* * * * *

Look who is tearing it up in the NBA summer league?

DeMarcus Cousins.

And some fellow named Derrick Caracter. Didn’t a guy by that name used to play for The Rick?

* * * * *

George Steinbrenner turned an asset for which he paid $8.7 million (Only $1 mill of which was his own.) into a gold and diamond minet valued at $1.6 billion.

Blowhard he may have been, but a saavy businessman also.

* * * * *

My hope for the weekend: Watching John Daly accept the British Open trophy while wearing pants in the same pattern as that psychedelic sport coat he wore to the former winners banquet the other night.

– Seedy K

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