Mark McGwire & Other Names and Phrases I Care Never to Hear Again

So the former St. Loooie slugger did steroids after all. Geez, imagine our surprise.

I mean really whodathunkit? I always thought he and Sosa and Canseco just ate a lot of Wheaties.

So the revelation comes as no surprise. But the nonstop 24/7 ESPN coverage sure does. You’d think it was the equivalent of an earthquake in Haiti or something.

So, if you should happen to run into me on the street, please don’t utter these words: Mark McGwire.

Or, the sentence, “I was just doing it to recover from injury.”

Or, the name Pete Carroll.

Or, Lane Kiffin.

Or, the sentence, “It was really a hard decision but ________ (Insert name, i.e. Southern Cal, Seattle, Arkansas) really is family. I never would have gone anywhere else. I loved it here at __________(Insert name, i.e. Tennessee, Atlanta, Southern Cal).”

Or, the subject of how much pressure the Indianapolis Colts have on them in the playoffs, because they layed down at the end of the season.

Or, the phrase “diaper dandy.”

All this palaver kind of makes a guy long for the days of, oh, whatisname, you know, oh my, my memory is fading, that guy who played golf, did a bunch of commercials, geez, what is his name, he had a hot wife from Sweden or Norway, dang it, could hit it like the Dali Lama, oh yeah . . . Tiger Woods.

Haven’t heard his name in awhile. Whatever happened to him?

– Seedy K

One Comment

  1. cbcard
    Posted January 14, 2010 at 6:59 pm | Permalink

    Simply put comments from coaches, players, agents, defense attorneys are to be scorned or at the least ignored.

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