Not only is Howard Schnellenberger’s old team — the U of L Cardinals — faring way below hopes, but his current Florida Atlantic Fighting Owls have opened the campaign with four consecutive losses. Wyoming’s Cowboys came away from Boca Raton with a 30-28 W on Saturday.

It was No Child Left Behind Schnell who cut to the chase when assessing his team’s performance: “We looked like third-graders. It was a very difficult game to stand on the sidelines and watch because there was so much ineptitude on our football team, especially on defense.”

The Critical Schnell minced nary a phrase when discussing his team’s play: “The two times we had to make something happen we didn’t make something happen. That’s disconcerting.”

The Fighting Owls again fell behind early. Dr. Schnell M.D. had a diagnosis: “Obviously it would behoove us to play stronger defense, score more points earlier in the game and not get into those situations.”

And yet it is always Historical Perspective Schnell the Optimist with the last words:

“Every win we get will be a hard-fought win, as it was last year, and the year before that, and the year before that.

“It’s a historical fact that we can’t purge from the time we’ve been here. “We have been here for 100 games and that’s a very meaningful thing. I never thought in my wildest dreams that I’d be here for 100 games. I don’t think that anybody thought that the football team would be where they are after 100 football games.

“This football program is going to continue to get better, win more games and while we’re doing that the board of trustees and the bond houses and all the things that it takes to build a new stadium will be getting their act together. It will be allowing us the opportunity to play in our own on campus stadium with our own students, who can fall out of bed and watch what’s going on.”

FAU has a bye week before it’s game with North Texas. The Mean Green have never beaten the Fighting Owls. Coach will have his charges ready.

– Seedy K