Howard Schnellenberger and his FAU Fighting Owls have arrived in Motown for their Friday night date with Central Michigan in the heralded Motor City Bowl. Paternal Schnell raved on religiously about his experience at the Boca Raton school and why it’s his most meaningful coaching stint:

“Not from what we accomplished, but who we accomplished it with. At Florida Atlantic University, we had to be the father, uncle and pastor of this football team. The accomplishments we had here are with what I would compare with my children. These are blood children of us. We were there for conception and birth and confirmation and bar mitzvahs and so forth.”

Staying in Paternal Schnell mode, he was bemused at his kid’s reaction to northern weather: “They were first surprised that it really gets this cold in the world. Secondly, they were confounded when the snow wouldn’t stick together when they tried to make a snowball.”

The team is staying in a high rise hotel with a grand view of the snow covered city. St Nick Schnell smiled and commented on the accomodations: “They wanted to know if that’s where Santa Claus lived.”

– Seedy K